listen up, bitchcakes
Look, my parents were mad scientists who pumped me full of spider-juice just to see what would happen. I went to Hail Hydra high school and Nick Fury university. I've been extraordinary my entire life. After all these years of insanity... a little ordinary sounds pretty #$%^ great. You have your normal... and I have mine.
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1 year ago with 110 notesreblog / via / source

quake-n-shake‌:

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“And this is exactly why I haven’t ever offered to baby sit. Children are a mystery to me. Do two year olds walk yet or am I getting way ahead of myself?”

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“I never wanted them. Never liked ‘em either. I still don’t, but I love my own. Every kid is different. You should be walking by two. Gerry’s a bit advanced but I’m blaming that on my freak DNA.”

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