listen up, bitchcakes
Look, my parents were mad scientists who pumped me full of spider-juice just to see what would happen. I went to Hail Hydra high school and Nick Fury university. I've been extraordinary my entire life. After all these years of insanity... a little ordinary sounds pretty #$%^ great. You have your normal... and I have mine.
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3 months ago with 19 notesreblog / via / source

birdboii​:

“If you have to brace yourself against the wall when you stand back up then you’re old.” he matched her smile. “You gotta keep things interesting to stay sane. Maybe I should think about kids too.” 

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“Shit. I may have a problem then.” Jessica laughed. “But it could also be because I routinely get my ass handed to me.” She was good at her job, she just had a penchant for never knowing when to quit. His next comment took her off guard. “You, kids?” She blinked in surprise. “They’re rewarding but they’re also a huge responsibility. Didn’t Kate take your dog?”

3 months ago with 13 notesreblog / via / source

birdboii​:

“Well I try not to think about it, or else I wouldn’t be able to do my job. We screw up every once in a while, but we can’t abandon our teammates because of it.” 

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“You sound opposite Carol. Not that she wants to abandon Wanda. She’s just – you know how Carol is.” One leg dangled off the lumpy sofa that was plopped in Clint’s living room and Jess swung it idly. “Shame on me for wishing we could all behave.”

7 months ago with 19 notesreblog / via / source

birdboii​:

“Face it Jess. We are old. I’m already grumbling at the radio and struggling to understand references.” 

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“I actually don’t know how old I am, so I’m rejecting that on principle.” Jess smirked before shaking her head. “I feel old. If I’m not out there being punched in the face than I’m at home on my hands and knees picking up Cheerios. Turns out boyo is very strong.”

7 months ago with 19 notesreblog / via / source

birdboii​:

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“Three more springs popped and I feel like I’ve slept in the woods for a week. How much longer until I can trade my legs in for some Stark tech?” 

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“Stop talking like you’re old. You’re making me feel old and I’m already going through an existential crisis.”