Look, my parents were mad scientists who pumped me full of spider-juice just to see what would happen. I went to Hail Hydra high school and Nick Fury university. I've been extraordinary my entire life. After all these years of insanity... a little ordinary sounds pretty #$%^ great. You have your normal... and I have mine.
“If you have to brace yourself against the wall when you stand back up then you’re old.” he matched her smile. “You gotta keep things interesting to stay sane. Maybe I should think about kids too.”
“Shit. I may have a problem then.” Jessica laughed. “But it could also be because I routinely get my ass handed to me.” She was good at her job, she just had a penchant for never knowing when to quit. His next comment took her off guard. “You, kids?” She blinked in surprise. “They’re rewarding but they’re also a huge responsibility. Didn’t Kate take your dog?”
“Well I try not to think about it, or else I wouldn’t be able to do my job. We screw up every once in a while, but we can’t abandon our teammates because of it.”
“You sound opposite Carol. Not that she wants to abandon Wanda. She’s just – you know how Carol is.” One leg dangled off the lumpy sofa that was plopped in Clint’s living room and Jess swung it idly. “Shame on me for wishing we could all behave.”
“Face it Jess. We are old. I’m already grumbling at the radio and struggling to understand references.”
“I actually don’t know how old I am, so I’m rejecting that on principle.” Jess smirked before shaking her head. “I feel old. If I’m not out there being punched in the face than I’m at home on my hands and knees picking up Cheerios. Turns out boyo is very strong.”
“What, like a nice shower and some sleep isn’t fancy? I’m definitely jealous.” Clint replied with a playful smirk. “Cut yourself some slack, Jess. You’re a kick ass mom and a damn good partner. Plus, you know, you’re a superhero. Not everyone is gonna be the most sappy and domestic person in a relationship.”
“The fanciest. I usually fall asleep face down on the couch and wake up when the light comes in the window I always seem to forget to close. Thanks, Barton. I don’t always feel kickass. Lately it’s seemed more like I’m the one usually getting my ass kicked. I felt this way when I was with you. Like maybe I’m just the type of person who can’t have it all.”
“I’ll probably wait to panic until right before you drop him off, don’t worry. What’s the special occasion that you’re leaving him with me for? Anything fun that I should be jealous of?”
“Jealous? Only if you’re deprived of sleep and the ability to take a shower without a baby banging on the door. Roger and I need a second. It’s been so long and I’m never the one who instigates a date. He’s lovely and domestic and I think I’m an arse.”
“You finally figured it out– the key to our relationship. You’ve always been the smarter one, too.”
“I’m not sure how I keep ending up being the smart one. I have relatively no schooling and a terrible temper but it is what it is. I need to find a genius to date.”
“He does but it’s very specific– so unless Gerry has joined the Russian mob lately, he’ll be safe.” He paused, feeling like there was still too much he didn’t know– but he had no idea what else to ask about. “I think that about covers Baby 101, yeah?”
“I’ll ask him, but I think he’s in good standing with the tracksuit mafia.” Jessica couldn’t help but chuckle. “For now. Don’t worry about not knowing things. There’s so many things I don’t know and I wipe his ass. I’ve been working it out as it goes.” Her pregnancy and parenting books had become shelves.
“Do I need to baby-proof my apartment? Also.. what does baby-proofing an apartment mean?” He didn’t say he would do it, but Clint knew she would understand that this was his way of saying yes. “Am I allowed to phone a friend to help?”
“Get rid of anything sharp or that explodes. Oh, and plastic. Little pieces of plastic. Think: this child will 100%want to eat everything and anything. Make sure he won’t die. Said child would also like to touch everything. Will he harm himself? That’s a good starting place.” Jessica racked her mind. “He can climb walls and stick to ceilings. He also has stingers like me, so, you know how that feels. Not fun but you won’t die. And of course you can call a friend. Kate? Bobbi? Awesome. Barney? Don’t even try it.”
